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Wristwatches in the Future

[Int: Moscone West convention center third floor ballroom. A presentation is taking place.]

So that was an update on our existing products, which I’m proud to say have never been stronger. Now I’d like to talk to you about our watch. We think you’re gonna love it.

When thinking about recent attempts to make wristwatches by some of our competitors, you’re probably thinking whatever happened to the retina display?

Eliminate Blake

I’ll tell you what happened: you’re looking at it in the wrong size. The pixel density is fine, but the screen’s smaller than it looks on this projector.

Avon Calling!

No, smaller than that.

Ulysse Nardiaaaaaaaaahn!!!!

Hmm, eye strain doesn’t sound like a future thing does it? Shouldn’t we come up with something a bit more ergonomic?

…actually, no, it’s a reasonable compromise. Centuries of user experience research have shown that future people find it most natural to talk into their scaphoid bones. That’s even true when they’re plastic people who don’t actually have scaphoid bones!

Stand by for wrist action!

[Sidenote: No, I will not be apologising for the alt text on that image.]

The technology was originally introduced as part of the struggle to end the Cold War, when one key application was in the unification of Germany.

Rembrandt's Knight Watch.

After seeing how people tried to use these devices, we came up with the breakthrough form factor: five pounds of computer-machined aluminum and an incomprehensible user interface.

This watch is Bullock's.

So that’s the watch. We can’t wait to see what you do with it!