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{ Category Archives } whatevs

Learn Mansplaining The Hard Way

zed shaw: It didn’t matter that most of these detractors admitted to me that they don’t code C anymore, that they don’t teach it, and that they just memorized the standard so they could “help” people. […] I cannot help old programmers. They are all doomed. Destined to have all the knowledge they accumulated through […]

An odd thought

An odd thought: I have written software for a computer whose CPU was used as an I/O controller for a computer that I have programmed, whose CPU was used as an I/O controller for a computer that I have programmed. So far, I’m not aware of the i7 being used as an I/O controller.

The laser physics of software

I’ve worked in a few different places where there have been high-powered lasers, the sort that would make short work of slicing through Sean Connery in a Bond movie. With high-powered lasers comes mandatory laser safety training. At least, it does in the UK. The first time you receive laser safety training it comes as […]


That moment where you’re looking back through your notes to see that you’ve: modelled charge carrier behaviour in semiconductors built a processor from discrete logic components patched kernels patched operating system tools written filesystems written device drivers contributed to a foundation library fixed compiler bugs performance-tuned databases built native apps built web apps tested the […]

One decade in

The first working week of August 2014 comes ten years after the first working week of August 2004. You knew that. The first working week of August 2004 was the first week since completing my degree that I worked for a living: the start of a sequence of (paid) events that led me to here. […]

Planet of the Apps

Scene: in front of a green screen somewhere in the present day. Our protagonist, freshly burned out from a session of writing dynamically-typed web backend code in vim, looks up from the monitor. In the distance, some way along the beach, they see an odd shape poking out of the sand. Their curiosity piqued, they […]

Wristwatches in the Future

[Int: Moscone West convention center third floor ballroom. A presentation is taking place.] So that was an update on our existing products, which I’m proud to say have never been stronger. Now I’d like to talk to you about our watch. We think you’re gonna love it. When thinking about recent attempts to make wristwatches […]

Where am I going with this?

I recently asked how people would describe this Secure Mac Programming blog were they trying to tell someone else they should read it. Of all the answers, the one that most succinctly sums up the trouble with the old name is from Alan: @secboffin Not Just Secure, Not Just Mac, Not Just Programming. I’m probably […]

My use of Latin: a glossary

i.e.: I Explain e.g.: Example Given et al.: Extremely Tedious Author List op. cit.: Other Page Cited It Too ibid.: In Book I Described etc.: Evermore To Continue a.m.: Argh! Morning! p.m.: Past Morning ca.: Close Approximation sic.: See Inexcusable Cock-up