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Fuck. This. Shit.

Enough with the subtle allusions of the previous posts. What’s going on here is not right.

It’s not right that I get to pass as a member of the group of people who can work in technology, while others have to justify their very presence in the field.

It’s not right that “looking like me” is a pass to being considered for the best-paid jobs, while “not looking like me” is not.

[that last one took me a long time to understand. To me, it seems like I worked hard to get where I am, but I needed to understand that I was given the opportunity to work at the things I worked at. That all I needed to do was to work at it, not to work at it and convince everyone else that I was eligible to work at it.]

It’s not right that while I get a free pass into various fields of endeavour, others are told that they either slept their way into the field or are groupies or are unfuckable.

Previously, I avoided writing about this stuff because I thought I might get writing about this stuff wrong. Fuck. This. Shit. I’ve got social capital to burn; it’s much easier for me to get another job around this sector than plenty of people who are as good or better than me at doing the work. I might be worried about treading the line between being supportive and getting into trouble, but that’s not as bad as the line women, trans people, non-white people, non-straight people, disabled people have to tread between asking to be considered equally and keeping their jobs have to tread. I have one job: doing my job. I do not have two jobs: doing my job, and convincing people that someone like me should be allowed to do my job. If the cost of equality is giving up my free ride, then I give up my free ride.

The pipeline is not the problem, it leads to a vat of acid. No-one wants to lean in to a vat of acid. (Thanks to Cate Huston for that metaphor, it made a lot of sense to me.)

Our industry is exclusive, and needs to be inclusive. What should you do about this? I don’t know, I’m far from knowledgable. If your position is “I agree with the straight white guy that the world is broken, I should ask the straight white guy how to fix it” then perhaps you are the problem, just as I have been and am the problem.

What should I do about this? First step for me is to listen. To not tell people who are describing their experiences what my experiences are. To avoid thinking about my reply to people, and to think about what they’ve said. To stop looking for holes in arguments and to listen for opportunities to grow. Not just to grow me, but to grow others.